Back track – Day 70 back again.. 4 weeks

This is really bad. I have gone off the bandwagon for more than 4 weeks. It is just crazy. I feel so bad – and I think the key here is to get back on track. I am going to ignore the days between 4 weeks ago and now. It is time to relook back at what shit had happened, and recover completely from it. The key is to continue to focus on making this work. I can’t continue this shit anymore – which is lying to myself.

Tomorrow will start of another day, in fact now is the start. Tomorrow is Day 71 – and I will go back to what I should be doing versus cheating against myself. If I don’t go back – I think I will not get back to where I want to go. Seriously – this is more important than ever. If I don’t do this as per my previous posts, I would probably die young. Seriously.

Starting tomorrow – I shall be healthy again. There are few exceptions in which I am ok to eat oats for breakfast.

OK here is the plan tomorrow – this will need to work. Seriously.

  1. Wake up at 4am and go to the gym for a good workout.
  2. Back by 5.15am and sahur on oatmeal.
  3. Work.. work.. work…
  4. 6pm – go to the gym for a quick cardio.
  5. 7.30pm – buka puasa. Something healthy.

I need to get back on track and don’t kill myself along the way. If I don’t do this, I will definitely die of slow death.. but young. Sigh. Seriously.

Day 69 of 364 Recovery

After a week of cheating, I am slowly recovery to make sure that I am back on track. I must say it is not that easy getting back into the rhythm of controlling my diet. Feeling of guilt is all around last week, but looking back on what I have consumed – made me realised how my lifestyle last week is bad. And how that lifestyle propelled me to the shape and form that I am now (was). It is amazing the amount of processed and junk food that I eat. I wish I could turn the clock, because it was not a good feeling. In fact, it was not just my mind that felt bad, but the body also was on an overdrive mode trying to process all the junk that was consumed.

I guess – it is true that the “performance” of mind and body depends on the fuel that we consumed. I can feel my brains working on snail mode. Sleep was interrupted. Now is about transitioning back to a healthy mode. In which I am detoxing out all the junk that was consumed. It will take at least a week or two for me to flush out all the junk. What ever that I done for the last 2 months or so just go down the drain, and I need to reset my body to get back into a fat burning engine. It does not help with my sprained ankle which is recovering well. In my mind, I can hear the crack when it happened. I am still amazed that I am recovering well.

The food yesterday was not great, but it is on the right track. I need to continue to flush out. I think I need to impose my rule no#4 which is Remove All Temptation. In my fridge is a pack of Ramly burger and another pack of Ramly hotdog. In addition to that I also have the buns is for accompanying the junk food. Looking at the poster that I printed couple of days ago is for a constant reminder for me to stick to the plan. I will throw out the junk food so that I am not tempted to do what I shouldn’t do which is to eat junk and processed food. Will do it later after I write this journal.

As per my previous post, due to my sprained ankle – I am unable to do any runs, and do any load bearing exercises. I feel really shit and hence that was one of the reason last weekend I really fell into the black hole. I kept telling myself that I cannot fall. The last time I had the injury was in February, and at the same time I fell into the black hole. Consuming shits that I should not. In fact the recovery for back was good, I was able to jump back to normal routine after 2 weeks. Not after gaining a few kilograms of course. The injury before that which was when I fell into a gap near my swimming pool. That injury was so bad that caused me to be out of action for few weeks. And that really propelled me into a black hole and gained 10kg or so in a short period of time. Not just because of inactivity but because of the food that I consumed.

I really need to be careful with the food that I eat because my high blood pressure is very high. High blood pressure can cause various diseases. It does not help with the fact of my other sins that I have not given up yet – for example coffee. I need to recover properly and start looking at giving up those. Trying to give up too many things at one go not going to workout. I am deciding if I should start medication for now temporarily. I am super tempted to do that, Adalat 30. Maybe, maybe not. May be I should. Let me ponder for a couple more days and figure out what’s next.

So the plan for today is very simple. I don’t think it is going to be hard

  • Morning Workout – Rowing for 10km
  • Breakfast – Protein shake
  • Lunch – Salad from Ben’s
  • Dinner– Salad from Ben’s (again!)
  • Optional workout – Rowing for 5km before dinner

I super need to bulk cooking. Eating out is great if I make the right choices, but it is not easy at all to be able to make the right choices because I am super lazy. It is amazing how lazy I can be when it comes to buying food. It does not help if the healthy food places are not as near as I want it to be! Plus – with the sprained ankle not going to help.

The other thing that I need to do is to be able to not eat junk food during my long meeting. I have another long meeting today – similar to my Thursday ones. I need to avoid from eating junk foods- Karipap! Dangerous. Let’s see. Need to remove all temptations. Rule #4. Till another day!

Supplemental Challenge – Rowing Challenge

As my leg is sprained due to the massive fall last Friday – I have declared myself to not do any weight bearing workouts for 2 weeks (starting today). I don’t have a lot of options to workout except for swimming and rowing. And of course bunch of core exercises that I can do. I can still do some machine workouts but it is hard for me to walk to the gym as such I am declaring that I will be doing a rowing challenge so that I can keep myself occupied for two weeks. Here goes:

For the next 2 weeks : I will be rowing for 200,000 meters and 20,000 crunches

This morning I clocked 10,240 metres which is about 1 hour of workout. I am challenging myself to do a bit more which is about 14.3km a day. This is not going to be easy but I need to push hard. Of course this is subjected to if I am going to Melbourne. If I do go to Melbourne means that I will have only 1 week and that will be 100,000 metres and 10,000 crunches!. Let’s see how that plays out. I am all for making sure that I have the necessary workout to get me thru the day.

Let’s do this shit. Putting a bit of gamification is good for the body!

Day 68 of 364 – Disastrous Week

I mentioned about last week being an extremely challenging week. I have imagined what I want to do within the week because I know it was going to be challenging. But the result was pure disaster. Here goes the list of disaster that happened, if I remember correctly:

  1. Day 63 of 364 – Had Mcd fried chicken for lunch!
  2. Day 64 of 364 – Had various snacks during workshop and ended the day with a Popeye fried chicken at night because I was hungry
  3. Day 65 of 364 – Had onion dosa and Mcdonalds burger
  4. Day 66 of 364 – Had two wraps for lunch. One of the war was Nasi Lemak. No gym in the morning.
  5. Day 67 of 364 – Had Ramly burger for lunch, followed by hot dog. No gym in the morning.
  6. Day 68 of 364 – Had KFC for lunch and durian for breakfast. No gym in the morning. Also had a popping cake from Starbucks.

From the list above – I can tell that the last 6 days have been extremely crazy. I consumed way too much processed food, did not workout for most of the days. It is just crazy. I have not idea what was going into my mind. I wish I was a bit more sane. But I guess the week is over and now it is time to move on and go back on track. What’s worst is that I sprained my ankle while walking on Day 66. Thank god that there weren’t any fracture. So I am all good. But I would need to rest for at least 2 weeks. I can either swim or row for cardio. For weights, it will need to be non-weight bearing exercises.

The disastrous week going to throw me off course, but this is a 1 year journey. 1 week of 52 weeks not going to kill a bird. I need to remain focus and make sure that I do what I need to do to make sure that I get back on track. This is going to be difficult month. I guess for this month is about maintaining before moving to a big push in the final month.

To be honest – I have already forgotten the things or principles that I have thought on day 27 from a youtube video:

While we are at this, I watched a youtube video on the 5 things that will be the key to weight loss. Following:

  1. Consistency
  2. Cook in Bulk
  3. Accept Failure and Move On Yes.
  4. Remove All Temptations
  5. Tell Everyone Yes.

I guess I struggle with 1 and 2 which is to me very important. I will get back to normal for 1, and for 2 – I will cook some thing in bulk today. I may taste shit but I need to do it. At least to cover for today and tomorrow. Most importantly given the situation that I am now, 3 is where I am now. I need to accept the failure that I have done for the last week and move with life. I know I am scared to stand on the weighing scale but I guess I need to do it at some point of time.

The another point that I wanted to bring up is that I sprained my ankle on Friday in which I could not walk on Friday(66) and Saturday(67). This was really bad. I keep telling myself that I won’t be jumping into the black hole but the way that I have been treating myself for the last couple of days – I am in the black hole. I acknowledged that I have cheated myself. I have cheated on what I have done to build the consistency for the past two months. It is a shame that I do that, but as per principle number 3- Accept Failure and Move On. This is how we going to do it, this is how I am going to push myself. Today is a brand new day. I know that I can’t go to the gym as my leg won’t be able to handle any load bearing, therefore I will either do swimming or rowing today. In fact this morning, I will do an hour of rowing. Must, must.

It has been a crazy week indeed. Time to move on. Reflecting on the shit that I have done, I need to start pushing hard. This week is relaxing week – just pure cardio for 1 week. I am giving myself a 2 weeks break for now because I need to get my ankle to recover completely before I start running again. The pain has subsided but as the ligament will need to rebuild itself, I need to reduce any load bearing exercises to make sure that I am good to go. Slowly but sure I will do this. I can’t let myself down for just a week. I know I have gone thru this journey way too many times, and all these instances are the ones that dragged me down the black hole. I will jump out. I know I have done a mistake by jumping down and letting me go down deeper and deeper. Things will change today.

It is amazing to see how a journal like this can change the way that I think, the way that I feel, and how it makes me feel so motivated for the day. Rather than feeling super horrible (which is what I felt in the past couple of days), I actually feel super motivated to get myself up and move out of the ditch. I know it is horrible to think of what I have done, but it is also amazing to see the impact of such journals have on the way that I feel. In fact, I am thinking of doing this journal more often, maybe 2 or 3 times a day just to get my brain fart out of the way and make me feel motivated throughout the day. I need to do this, I need to keep myself motivated always. If I don’t do this, I will jump into the black hole again. Must keep motivated to be honest. This is going to be tough. But who said it was easy, if it was easy I guess everybody will be healthy. Time to move on today, time to push hard. I can do this shit!