Day 57 Focussing on Form

Yesterday was not as good I want it to be, but it is as good as I can make to be. There were quite a bit of carbs intake during the day. I was too busy and did not have the time to control the diet as much I want it to be. But portion control was done in a way that there was little carbs. I had satay wrap from TCC. That was my lunch and pre-dinner. For dinner I had some satay (10 sticks) with paru. That I must say be laden with sugar, but it is what it is. I was just too tired to get some food to cook. I don’t think I will be meal prepping for the next week as I am will be travelling most of next week. But that’s fine.

Workout has been great yesterday. Despite waking up pretty late (6am) after a few long snoozes, I ended up an express workout with slightly less than usual run (20m minutes) and back workout. My weight workout was good but it was done in an express fashion. I usually don’t like to rush my weights but when the going gets tough, I just need that tick box. The thing that I realise for my workout is that I am trying to push too much weight and start neglecting the form. Which is bad. Apart from not getting the right results, the worst is the fact that I may be opening myself to injury. Which is even worst. I need cut down on my weights, pull it slowly and focus on getting the right form. That is key.

Weight today – has dropped to another level. Making the total weight loss to be about 11.9kg. I am hoping that I would be able to another 0.4kg by end of this week making 11.3kg which technically making my weight loss to be approximate 4kg this month (I think!). Short of the target of 5kg a month, but we push on, we push hard, we win hard. Couple more days till completion of month 2, and moving over to month 3. Month 3 is going to be a travelling month. Going to be hard seriously to keep to the right diet and workout while travelling. But I need to make sure I am good in this. Month 4 which is fasting month is going to be good for diet, and bad for workout. I may lose some muscles during this time because I may not have enough time to workout properly. But slowly yet surely I will make it happen.

I will continue to be challenged. It is not going to be easy as I go on with this journey. The good thing about short sprint diet is that I can just do it and be gone, and be back to normal. The issue with short sprint is that its not sustainable. I am looking at a life changing lifestyle. And life changing is about sustainability and long lasting diet. I need to continue to lose weight and when I get to my target weight, it is about maintaining the weight. In fact, as I mentioned in previous posting, it is also about getting into new initiative that will help shape my body. Six pack? 😀 sure… One step at a time

Day 56 of 364

Few more days and it will be 2 months since I first start on this journey. To be honest, I had a lot of expectations when I first started but after a while the expectations started to die down because putting too high of expectation will mean that I would be facing failure every single time I see slow progress. Which then leads to depression, which then leads to falling out of the bandwagon. At the same time, slow progress could also lead to depression in which there are days where I see zero or no progress. It is quite a challenging mental game.

In fact – what I see is that the journey is about mental power rather than physical power. The mind is more powerful than any other thing out there. If I think I can do this, then I can. There are limits to what physical can do, but the mind would be able to push the body to push to another level altogether. In fact, in journey like this – physical activities has smaller share of contribution versus the food intake itself. Food intake require extreme mental power to restrain from consuming things that I should not be consuming. Way too many times I failed – and I will continue to fail along the way. This is because I am merely human and learning as I go on. I am striving to take this as a learning process and adapt as necessary. Employing a strict regimented approach is suicidal. I have seen these issues way too many times. When I fall, I really fall very hard. And the next thing I know – I will be binging on things that I should not be binging.

Being honest to myself is extremely important. I do what to push hard – I do want to be regimented – I do want to have results fast, but what is the point of having all of these if I am going to fall and come back to my usual self. I should be rotating to the new in which it will be the new, and the new is the usual, the new is permanent me. Constant transformation is happening, to the mind and body. In fact its more to the mind rather than the body.

The regime that I am following is a loosely done regime in which the focus is to reduce or eliminate sugar and carbohydrates. Adjust accordingly to my day and learn how to improve along the way. Obviously meal preparation is the best thing that I can do to fast track my weight loss, but the question that I have in my mind is that is this a permanent thing. What happen when I stop meal prepping? Will I start gaining weight. If I don’t teach myself to change my lifestyle to make the right choices, forever I won’t be able to lose and eventually maintain this weight. Making the right choice is important – choices is about the types of food AND the portion.

I hope that I would be able to get where I am – in fact I know that I am going to reach my goal. It probably not going to happen early. It will happen during day 364. What ever weight that I get at that point, is the new norm.

Apart from pushing for weight loss, I am also pushing for muscle building. Reason being is that muscle will increase the metabolic rate and also strength. As I get older, the base metabolic rate of my body will drop, and in fact some of my bones will get weak. As such I need to supplement this with muscle. I have seen a lot of people who are extremely strong in their 40s and 50s, and I want to be one of them. Not necessarily have six packs and such – but more of having the right amount to be healthy. I don’t want to be having back pains and knee pains when I grow old. Not that I am not that old!

The journey is long, and I need to continue to work hard. No pain no gain 🙂

Day 55 of 364 No Workout Day

Yesterday I did not workout. Why?

Well – I went to watch a movie that started very late – 10.40pm, and it finished about 12.40pm. By the time I got home, I eventually slept about 2am. And woke up very very late. As I did not ride my bike, I put priority on riding a bike versus going to the gym. Not sure whether that is a good thing to do but I think body also was quite tired due to the rigorous workout that I did over the weekend. It is OK I guess, resting is also quite important.

I cooked for all my meal yesterday, making sure that I eat the right thing. Continuing from my streak of the great sambal that I made on Sunday, I cooked Ayam Panggang Kicap or in English grilled chicken with soya sauce. Experimented with a new way of grilling chicken in which I cooked the kitchen in gravy first for 45 mins, followed by quick hot grill for a good 15 mins. The result was magnificent. The chicken cooked was not as clean as I use quite a bit of sweet soy sauce. I did not eat too much of the gravy so I think its fine. The rest of the meal was lady finger, air fried tempe and lady finger. It was good I must say. I am quite happy with the meal that I had for lunch. As I was still quite full, I skipped dinner (quite amazing).

The weight this morning, I am back to losing weight. Putting myself to the mindset that I need to lose a kilo for the next 6 days. I am hoping that I will pass thru the psychological weight that I am not able to pass thru for the past couple of weeks. I think the key is to lose that and continue thru the progress train until end of this week before my monthly review. I think I should push harder next month, making sure that I eat clean more often and don’t jump of the bandwagon. Having a full month of clean eating surely will give a great impact to the progress. The reason why this month was bad is because I fell off the bandwagon way too many times.

Moving forward – I need to cook more. Today I think I will go and cook more food. It does not take a lot of time to cook, I just need to get my ass to buy some groceries and cook. It will be so much easier if I cook to be honest. At least I know the food that I eat. Eating outside is great and easy, but I don’t have control of the food that I eat resulting in the consumption of things that rather not “qualified”, and I will not lose as much weight as I want it to be.

Today – I think I would be able to get home earlier. As such I should go and buy some raw food and cook some chicken for the rest of the week. I should consume more chicken and fish because cholesterol is something that I need to monitor. What I realised is that I don’t drink as much water as I want. This is due to the fact that I stopped buying mineral water and wanted to drink boiled water instead. Yes it is great, but the problem is I don’t boil water as often as I want. The ants that is attracted to the water that I boil really annoys me. Seriously. Maybe I need to go buy water more often. The problem of not drinking enough water is that it will affect my weight loss and also kill the kidney.

One thing that is in my head of the weekend is that how do I improve on my sleep. I have not been sleeping well lately. Yesterday was decent but before yesterday I keep waking up at night. I think it is because I watch tv before I sleep which resulted in me being awake despite sleeping. The brain also does not get good rest compared to if I were to sleep without watching tv first. I should go and read a book versus watching tv. Seriously. I need to do this.

The other factor is of course my bed is shit. I can feel that the spring has broken resulting the sleep to be shit. I should consider getting a new bed for myself so that I can sleep better. There are quite a number of bed that I can get, but the bed that I want is so expensive and the question that I have is that do I really need to have that? I can live with the current bed that I have provided that I sleep at the right position. Maybe I shall put this to later when I lose a lot more weight because with the weight that I am at now, any mattress will just die because I am just way too heavy. Let’s leave it for a next year story.

I feel less motivated today when I wake up in the morning because I still feel tired from tomorrow. I didn’t feel that I achieved much despite having a long weekend. It is great to have long weekends, but if I am not able to rest – what use does it have for me. It’ll be short weeks for the next two weeks. Next week is due to Labor Day and the week after that is for Wesak. I want to make the best out of everything and push hard to get the best out of the rest days. I have some travelling to do in the next month as such I want to focus on discipline this coming month because discipline is the only thing that I have to make sure that I don’t fall off the bandwagon.

One thing that I realised is that when I am on the right track, it also helps in me getting very motivated at work. I don’t get distracted from the other problems that I have. When I am motivated, I feel extremely productive. Like today – I think I should get my ass to the gym again during lunch or after work. Maybe at home after work I do some rowing, while cooking my chicken. Even 30 mins of rowing it should help me in losing extra weight and kill some time while waiting for the chicken to be cooked. I love cooking, I love eating. The problem is that cooking takes time to do so if I am combine cooking with working out it will be great.

Having said that about working out, I need to start working out my abs. I keep on skipping my abs routine because I just felt tired and don’t think that I am enjoying the abs routine. Its not about abs but it is more about the core. I should workout my core more often because core will help me to run better and do other weight workouts better. Strong core is important to make sure that I keep a proper form. I know that other weight workouts will build the core but at the same time I should continue to build it. It will also set the right pretext to my next project which is to get 6 packs next year.

Okay – it has been 55 days and by end of this week I will reach the 2 months mark, with 10 months to go and about 81.3% of target to finish off. It does seem like my progress is slowing down tremendously but slowly but surely. 364 days seems to be the right number of days for me to get back to normal shape, but if I continue to fall off the bandwagon, I won’t be able to get to my target. Time to push up my ante.

The good thing about journalling or blogging for this project is that it keeps me honest and sticking to the track. I tend to go off tangent way too many times. Almost all the time effort that I did in the past couple of years has died after a couple of weeks. In fact, whenever I fall off the bandwagon – I just fall. And will take me weeks before I was able to pick myself up and continue. This time is probably one of the longest streak ever and I intend to continue and push on for the next 1 year. It will be great seriously. With the next project already in my mind, I think I have 2 years of work that I have set myself too. Going thru year by year, monitoring every inch of my progress – keeping my journal updated is great. Making it public – not that I have anybody that’s following it is also great. When I pass thru one year – I guess I can market it and may consider writing a book (chewah!). It does give me almost a full year view of my journey, and I seriously hope that I will be successful.

I still have more than 10 months of journey, lots of work need to be done. About 50kg of weight to lose in 10 months resulting about 5kg a month. This is going to get more tougher every month. I need to continue to put my focus on this. 5kg a month is very very tough seriously. Its hard. It is very hard. And the only way I can get thru this is by putting all my mind on this. I need to figure out my backup plan if I can’t get thru my target but as it stand now – it is about focus. Will revisit the target after fasting month which is 2 months from now. Fasting month – I should lose more weight because of the forced fasting that I do. It will ultimately interesting. I am tracking back thru time and thru time I will discover the joy of being lighter.

Even now – I can feel by losing more weight that I can ride my motorbike better. In fact after losing another 20kg, I should start cycling again so that I can push more from cardio perspective. By cycling – I get to vary my long cardio. I should have at least one long cardio a week as it helps in removing some water and workout the muscle that I build along the week. Let’s keep it to another day.

I guess I wrote long enough today. So many things in my mind – but let’s keep focus. Till tomorrow…

Day 54 of 364 Focus

Focus is extremely important. Today is a public holiday, as such I need to push myself to be focused in working on the right elements so that I don’t get derailed again like last week. I have one week left for this month, I need to work hard to make sure that the end of result of this month is somewhat substantial. Till date, I think I have lost approximately 3kg only and this is a far cry of my target of losing 5 kg a month. I can nail down exactly what went wrong and what I need to do to get back on track. It is OK to lose weight slowly, but its is NOT OK to lose weight because you did not become discipline enough to make things work. I have one week left to till the end of the month, as such I need to make sure I am focus for the next 7 days to make sure that I get the results that I wanted. Losing 2kg maybe easy to start, but not easy to maintain.

In fact – when I was looking at my weight wait for the past 3 weeks, it seems to be yoyo-ing quite badly. Likely it is because the amount of salt and cheat that I impose on my body. The weight today is not the lowest I achieved but from an average weight perspective it does go down. It is sad that I have done this to my body but its fine. We can only move on. The key is that I know what happened.

In the past 9 years of my life, I have been gaining so much weight that it is unbelievable. The doctor already said that there is nothing wrong with my body – whether its hormonal or not. It is just me. I am the source of the problem, I can’t blame other people to be honest. I am the only one who can be blamed for the shit that had happened to me. And we can only move on and make the best out of it. I am definitely worried that my internal organs going to fail, as such I need to make sure that I keep my body healthy. If I want to retire in great shape, I need to work to get it to the right point.

Yesterday – was an interesting one. After a usual gruelling workout, food was good. I had protein supplement in the morning and for lunch I cooked my own food. It was a great combination of tempe, eggplant, sambal, grilled beef and air fried tofu. Everything was cooked at home and it taste amazingly good. I really love the food that I cooked yesterday and this will go into my list of food that I should continue to cook. The make it or break it element was sambal. I never cooked sambal before and the problem with sambal that we get outside in the real world, it is laden with sugar. What I need was to actually use the right onion that have the right amount of sweetness to give the balance of flavour. Dried prawn gives that outstanding flavour and body. The crunch that I get out of it is just out of this world. The sambal will go with any food that I eat. Be it grilled chicken or air fried tempe!

Dinner was at Salad Atelier in Starling Mall – just before movie. The place was not great. I had healthy dinosaur burger. Was it good, it was okay. It was huge! I did not have the bread and just ate the fillings. I was full and quite happy.

For this week – the focus is to keep in the bandwagon. It is going to be extremely difficult but it is important that I keep focus. Today I think lunch is OK, dinner is something that I need to figure out. I don’t know if I would be travelling this week but let’s see where I land. Which ever way it is extremely important that I remain focus because what happened this week will determine my momentum for next month. Next month will be two weeks of travelling. Not easy – super not easy. I won’t be able to cook (not that I’ve been eating home cook food). As such it is all about focus and choosing the right food at the right portion at all times. No sugar rule still remain.

The month after this will be fasting month. It is easy to control food, but hard to include the workouts. I need to plan it properly so that I don’t fall off the bandwagon. It is going to be very interesting indeed. I am hoping that I will lose a lot more in that month, so that I would be able to jumpstart my weight loss. It has only been just short of one month. Going to be fun to see the long term results. Despite the daily struggle that I have, the average direction is down and not up. And I seriously feel the effect of this blog, in which I feel accountable to what I do to my body.

In previous years, I always keep secretive that things that I do because I feel embarrassed, but I guess that is also the reason why I screwed myself. Seriously. I have screwed myself so many times and I don’t know when will I get the shit that is resulted out of that. Towards the end of this project, I will go for a full medical checkup. This is going to be interesting. I hope I am successful – reaching my target weight by end of 364 days. There is 310 days to go. Long way to go – but I am extremely committed to this.

The bigger challenge would be the post project but I will leave it to later. Now is all about getting back to shape. Even if I reach my target by end of 364 days – I will continue to push down until its done. I won’t stop the project. Project will end after 364 days and I will figure out another project. This is going to be fun.