Day 61 of 364 Rest Day – Really

Moving into the 2nd month of the project. Yesterday – one of my ex-colleague mentioned that he did noticed some physical difference. And I said – yes there is because I am currently pursuing the effort to change my physical appearance. Where I am now is not healthy and I would probably would die at some point of time. In fact – my other ex-colleague already lost 20kg and most of it is due to food, and some parts is due to the workout. I think I am on the right track, but of course need to continue to work hard.

I am not even shy from saying that I am in this journey because part of the principle of going thru this project is to be open with regards to what I am doing. There is no point of being shy because the physical appearance already enough to show that I am in need of such project or journey. In fact where I was two months ago is just way too crazy. I was so big, blowing out of proportion. Way bigger than I originally was. All the calorie intake is just crazy.

As I mentioned before in my previous posts, during this journey when I am extremely aware of the food that I take, I do realise about how much of food that I ate then. Without proper control of the food, I am going to kill myself eventually. Now what I wish is that there are no growth that is in my body as a result of my constant abuse. Slowly but surely I will be back to normal. 10 months to be exact.

This is a journey of transformation. Anything that goes fast not going to go anywhere. I do hope that I will be OK at some point. It is definitely extremely difficult to be able to handle the shit that I am handling now. But I guess transformation must start with putting a wall in my head that I can do this. Once the wall is there, I would be able to focus on pushing myself hard.

Yesterday – food was good. For breakfast I technically had vegetables and eggs. The assam fish died!

For lunch – I had my left over chicken in soy sauce. Because I was still hungry, I had one more piece of fried chicken. I seriously need to skip all these fried stuffs because I may be losing weight, but I do not want to have clogged artery. Seriously – need to stay alive!

For dinner – went to Pavillion for an expensive meal – Korean BBQ. Had mostly vegetables and some meat. Was doing really well to be honest.

I need to continue this. Must be focused for this week. This week is where I need the most. Focus focus focus and I will be OK 🙂

Day 60 of 364 2 Months Done

It has 2 months since I embarked this journey. I have learnt a lot of myself. One thing for sure I am not as discipline as I thought I was. In the past – I always thought that I probably have one of the strongest mind within my peers but I guess I am not. More and more I am getting a bit more too complacent until I started this project. In which I spend a lot of time reflecting on myself. There are so many things that I have not done right and with this process I am transforming myself.

Physical transformation is just a start, but it also serves as a catalyst to more transformation – especially mental. With the transformation that I am doing now, I am also retraining my brains to be more discipline and I am start to reap the benefits now. There are times in which I feel that I am not doing enough for myself mentally and that is right. I can see what ever I am doing now is fully beneficial and hoping that it will bear some fruits in weeks to come.

Yesterday was a cheat meal, had some crazy lunch – which is Mee Ketam. Had that in Lokhaba followed by a nice cup of teh tarik. It was really good meal I must say. In my mind – I told myself that in my usual self, this would have been my normal lunch! Omg… After that – I then went to Kenny Hills Bakers for a good dessert and cup of coffee. My ever favourite cake – Black Forest!

In preparation for my cheat meal – workout was super crazy. I decided to run for a good 40 mins and then followed by a Superset Madness Workout. Crazy shit. I spent almost 2.5 hours in the gym pushing my body to the maximum. It was so intense that when I after doing my bicep curls on incline bench, I could not return the dumbbell to the racks. My arms were just gone.

I thought I would have gotten a crazy DOMS this morning, but I did not. It was all good 🙂 Amazing indeed. I guess I can push harder – ha ha.

Today going to be a great day – I will work hard for it, and I will earn the benefit. What I do today – I will get the returns at some point of time. The key is for me to continue to persevere through thick and thins. There would be challenges moving forward, and I need to focus my energy on the right things. There are distractions in this world – many of them. I need to ignore those distractions because as what Jack Ma said – ”We can’t be stressed for things We can’t control”. There are many things that I feel I am stressed about but I keep myself engaged and do what I can and leave it to fate (LOL). But I guess we do what we need to do to take control of things that we can’t control, and make the best out of it. It is a learning journey, even until now. It is going to be hard, it is going to fun. Never lose sight of the things that you aim for, don’t give in, don’t give, just push thru 🙂

Day 59 of 364 – Need to be discipline

During projects like this, the most difficult thing to do is to keep to the routine. Discipline is the key to all successes. No matter what we do in life, whether to lose weight or to be great at our jobs, it is all about being discipline. No matter how easy is the task, without having the rigour of discipline, the task won’t be able to be done successfully. It may be easy for us to say that we have the discipline, but when we look back at the things that we have done, there were so many procrastination and laziness that you wish you were not like that.

At least for me – discipline has been the key to my success and fall (when there is a lack of it). If I were to reflect back again at what I have achieved and failed, it is all because of discipline. I would not say that I am that discipline in life, but I do try at times when I realise to be better at what I am doing. When I look at my colleagues and friends who are successful, there was one key that I realised separates me from them – the discipline that they have.

Back to this project – why I mention about discipline is that in the last 59 days – my problem has been keeping to the routine and rules that I have imposed on myself. There are too many times I took things for granted. Sad to say especially in the last 30 days or so, I have been complacent and allowed myself to fall way too many times. I have been way too relax. I know in the previous journals that I wanted to keep it chill, but being too chill made me too complacent. This week I think 3 out of the last 5 days I have not kept to my strict rules. Despite the rules being relax, I was able to break it. This is bad. I know in my head that if I continue, I will be ok because I did not crazily break it, but because the overall goal for this is not just about losing weight but creating a sustainable lifestyle that I can follow for the rest of my life. I have identified the issues, but I have not been able to fix it. I am aware of what I did at that time of the breach, but I just tell myself – ahhh.. screw it!

Seriously – for the next one week I need to look back and perhaps what I should do is that overtime I am going to breach or fall, I should write a journal post for me to look back. Before I go on with what different I am going to do next week, perhaps I should recap back again on what went wrong. Here goes…

  1. I don’t keep to strict diet for lunch. I keep eating eating out and the stuffs that I ate has carbs. Example – yesterday I had a chicken wrap, I could spend a bit more time and walk to the salad bar.
  2. When there’s snacks in the office, I keep on taking one or two. I know it is not much, but it is the whole notion of snacking that worries me. If I can do it during my project period, I could do it even more during my normal routine.

So I guess this is really bad. So my proposition to myself next week is for me to write a post every time I am about to go out and eat. It is not going to be hard to write a post about my plan for lunch or snacks. It gives me that time to think and reflect on what I am going to do. I know it may take a bit of time, but in most times, the reason why I do what I do is because I don’t have time. And taking that 5 minutes just to write not going to kill anything. 5 mins is a good time for me to get that zen and think. When I think I usually will not do it.

To add to that, whenever I write this journal – I feel motivated because it gives me some reflection on what I have done, and what I will do next. And having mini reflections during the day is a great way to remind ourselves that we are what we are, and what ever actions that we take along the way will impact the way we perform for the day.

Tomorrow going to be day 60! It is a milestone. I may not have lost that much weight this last two weeks. I know the issue – and I am taking some actions to make the change. Slowly but surely.

Next week I will be out of the country for couple of days. It will be a super busy week. There are so many things that I need to do – it is extremely important for me to focus on what I do and continue to push hard. I have made my research on what to do in the next week in Singapore, and I will do it. It will be fun.

Day 58 of 364 Again…

Still I am slipping. What is with me? Every Thursday things just get shittier than shit. Need to figure out how to fix this issue – if not I will continue to fall every Thursday. It’s not easy I must say, temptation must be fought. Must be fought hard to be honest.

It is a short write up today….

Day 58 of 364 Again…

Still I am slipping. What is with me? Every Thursday things just get shittier than shit. Need to figure out how to fix this issue – if not I will continue to fall every Thursday. It’s not easy I must say, temptation must be fought. Must be fought hard to be honest.

It is a short write up today….